


Alone

by TigerxFox



Series: Eruri Collection [9]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 09:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerxFox/pseuds/TigerxFox
Summary: He doesn't spend a second thinking about himself. Instead, his thoughts are focused on Erwin, lying in that bed back home.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know anymore

He's hungry, and he's pretty sure out here it's cold enough to make him hypothermic at this point. And he's dirty. So goddamn dirty. Unsurprisingly, none of that really matters. He doesn't spend a second thinking about himself. Instead, his thoughts are focused on Erwin, lying in that bed back home.

Levi worries about him cleaning his wound frequently enough. That damn doctor of his has some poor cleaning standards, or at least in Levi's point of view. He worries about _him_ being hungry. He knows Erwin has food alright, but he also knows he'd rather finish reading some stupid document than finish eating his meals. And there's no one there to force him to, because Levi's not there. It's silly, he thinks. He sounds like he's Erwin's mother or something. And it's not like Erwin can't handle a few days alone, the commander is a grown man, he should be fine by himself. Still, he can't help but be bothered by it.

The survey cops without Erwin Smith are just a bunch of ants whose path line has been destroyed. Of course, the soldiers are still great soldiers, nothing about it has changed, but without him they all seem lost. And Levi realizes almost everyone is in the same pathetic situation as he is. All they've ever known is Erwin and they've never served a single day without him.  
  
And for Levi is even worse. Because Levi is terrified of being alone. He wishes he were a normal person and could fall asleep now or at least pass out from the exhaustion before he continues this train of thought, which he absolutely hates. But he isn't and he won't. Of course, this went through his head a couple of times, they've always been in danger all the time. But he, along with everyone else, always thought of Erwin as kind of infallible. Until his mortality hit him in the face when he saw the commander lying down, with a beard that wasn't there before and without an arm that used to be. He tried not to be shocked by it, but now he can't even look at the man anymore without thinking about it. That void where his right arm used to be, the damn reminder of Erwin's humanity.

He just wished he could say he's just worried about Erwin. It's not embarrassing anymore, he's passed the point of that long ago. But the matter is he's also worried about himself, because if something were to happen to Erwin he wouldn't even know what to do. He'd be alone again.

He hates this, thinking about himself, he feels selfish as fuck. Unfortunately, there's still plenty of hours until sunrise, and that's a lot of time for a sleep deprived brain to worry and suffer, so he'll continue to torture himself with the possibility and contemplate his future solitude while everyone else sleeps.

He grabs his cravat involuntarily, it was a gift from Erwin after his favourite one became completely unusable after a expedition. And he stays like that until it's time to get up, holding the cravat tight in his petite hand like an amulet, and trying not to worry about himself.


End file.
